Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
