you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
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