tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
