My hair reeks of homosexuality.
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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