Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
why do cheetos always look like penises
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Randomize