I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
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