i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
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