a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
