i just had sex bonerless
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize
