Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I don't usually arrange sex via text message
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
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