i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".