I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
27 Of The Most NSFW Life Hacks
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
23 Disturbing Small-Town Horror Stories
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!