The best revenge is premature balding
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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