No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
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