Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
