Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(546): View more from

Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.

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(972): View more from Texas

The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?

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(513): View more from Ohio

theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.

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(850): View more from Florida

Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.

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19 Parents Admit the Lies They’ve Told Their Children
Read it at the TFLN blog
(813): View more from Florida

I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.

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(206): View more from Washington

Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.

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(630): View more from Illinois

We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.

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