I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.