Texts From Last Night

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  (805): View more from California

  I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.

  (1-805): View more from California

  You do realize that you broke up with him, right?

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  (805): I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose. (1-805): You do realize that you broke up with him, right? http://tfl.nu/4u3s
  Replies (5) Good night (534) Bad night (2624)
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  (760): View more from California

  You did not just play the dead husband card again.

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  (760): You did not just play the dead husband card again. http://tfl.nu/xl50
  Replies (20) Good night (1102) Bad night (5385)
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  (740): View more from Ohio

  So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?

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  (740): So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes? http://tfl.nu/wyhr
  Replies (11) Good night (1560) Bad night (4044)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree

  (404): View more from Georgia

  YES.

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  (678): NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree (404): YES. http://tfl.nu/chua
  Replies (5) Good night (3689) Bad night (865)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.

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  (847): Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed. http://tfl.nu/o4oh
  Replies (8) Good night (1126) Bad night (2635)
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests

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  (973): Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests http://tfl.nu/b1y9
  Replies (10) Good night (3883) Bad night (929)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport

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  (815): I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport http://tfl.nu/v33c
  Replies (22) Good night (10106) Bad night (969)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it

  (1-717): View more from Pennsylvania

  where the hell would u of bought a deer

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  (717): found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it (1-717): where the hell would u of bought a deer http://tfl.nu/semf
  Replies (9) Good night (2848) Bad night (776)
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  (907): View more from Alaska

  She looks like a junkie muppet...awful

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  (907): She looks like a junkie muppet...awful http://tfl.nu/ahtl
  Replies (5) Good night (814) Bad night (1647)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?

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  (519): I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen? http://tfl.nu/tjza
  Replies (20) Good night (6155) Bad night (974)
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  (740): View more from Ohio

  If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.

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  (740): If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure. http://tfl.nu/7lqe
  Replies (5) Good night (1920) Bad night (1020)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.

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  (978): The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty. http://tfl.nu/l80d
  Replies (10) Good night (1971) Bad night (483)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys

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  (512): We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys http://tfl.nu/ys3u
  Replies (2) Good night (712) Bad night (1101)
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO

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  (973): DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO http://tfl.nu/pqah
  Replies (4) Good night (429) Bad night (738)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"

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  (410): Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men" http://tfl.nu/o2lw
  Replies (1) Good night (428) Bad night (296)

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