I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
