If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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