...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize