i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
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