Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Randomize
