Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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