If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
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