I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
