She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I need a beard to bite.
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