So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
