I've blown a few things in my day
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
