Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
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