Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize