Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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