you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Randomize
