The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
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