so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
