This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize