Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
