i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize