At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Send help, water and tortillas.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
