Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
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