I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
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