...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
