so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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