forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
i think my mom watched the whole time
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
you didnt know i had herpes?
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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