MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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