I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Panties = found
Randomize
