I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
