My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Randomize
