An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
