I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize