And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
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He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
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