this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
You pole danced in your parka.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Randomize
