I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
