so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize