I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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