that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
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we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
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Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
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