Kiss
Puke
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
