four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
