so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
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