Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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