Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
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